|"Diesel Sweeties" Rant
"I knew that a lot of Dream members have had a humorectomy performed on them before reviewing Buttlord GT, but I was surprised at how they revealed themselves in full force. It's almost as if they felt obligated to bash this comic."
I was going to leave it at that, but I see the truth now: You guys don't have souls.
I'm going to preface this with a little story: Friday night, a girl named Amber saw me playing Dance Dance Revolution with a well-known gay person. Even though he knew I was straight, she said that he wanted to stick it up my butt. After defending myself and my friend, she walked away. The next night I was walking home from singing Karaoke in Alberti's Bar & Grille. Right before I reached my house, she spotted me across the street. She was with three other dudes. She ran across the street, got in my face and started calling my friend a faggot and called me a faggot by association. When I told her to stop dissing me and my friend, she wouldn't stop, so I said "F-ck you" and tried to walk away, but she decided to start pushing me. She wouldn't stop pushing, so I pushed her back. After repeatedly telling her to stop, I decided to slap her in order to get my point across. When I did that, one of the dudes she was with, a big black dude named Torres, walked up to me and punched me in the eye. The other two white dudes pulled her away, but not before she stomped on my hat. Now my face is messed up and I still feel my black eye, so I can't forget about it. The worst part is that most people I've told this to have said that I was the one who messed up since you're never ever supposed to hit a woman. They can get away with whatever they want. Now I'm mad at Amber, Torres, and Myself. I look and feel bad, I get funny stares and the same old lecture. I feel anger and guilt.
In short: I'm pissed. Things aren't as funny and food doesn't taste as good. Sometimes I get so angry I get a hard-on, I'm so angry.
This isn't helping.
Now, on to you guys. When I saw that Buttlord GT was up for review, I knew that a few people wouldn't like it, since some people have fooled themselves into thinking that humor that goes for the gut is not funny. I bet they wouldn't laugh if they were tickled.
Boy, did I underestimate you guys.
Not only did you feel the need to bash Buttlord GT but to also diss its creators and fans, make some remarks about the internet sucking and saying that reading the comic was a sin of some sort. Wow. I didn't know it was possible to hate a comic that much. I get flack from Furilius for saying a comic sucks. I hope the road runs both ways.
But what's done is done. I stated my opinions on BLGT, and so did you all. I may not have liked them, but at least they were semi-expected.
Now there's Diesel Sweeties. "Swell," I thought, "A comic that uses humor in a different way. Instead of going for the gut, the humor is a little more tongue-in-cheek, using words instead of farts in order to get the laughs across. These new-age stereotypes and the subsequent mocking oughtta get the brain working a little more than simple bowel humor."
And you guys STILL HATE IT.
What the hell is wrong with you?
I'm looking at the hits you have against this. The art sucks? The jokes get repetitive? There's no story? Characters are bland? What on Earth is this?
Art: Yes, it's pixelated. The art isn't that professional. I think it's a neat look. Facial expressions are shown real well. It may get tiring to read more than 200 pages of this in a row, but that applies to almost any webcomic. Here's the thing, though. This isn't a comic where a lot of physical stuff happens. It's more about the dialogue and the interactions between characters, so art takes a backseat to writing. Or, to put it more clearly:
GOOD WRITING SAVES BAD ART MORE THAN GOOD ART SAVES BAD WRITING.
Many comics try so very hard to make themselves look beautiful, just like some professional Anime or manga, but they forget to make an engaging story to go with the pretty art. If the writing's not that great, what's compelling me to move forward? I don't really care what pretty thing I'm going to see next unless it's pretty damn PRETTY. Most webcomics aren't that pretty. I can tolerate subpar art if the writing makes me laugh, think or care. I read webcomics for content, not eye candy.
Story: There is no story to this comic. They are one-shots and vignettes. If you think that a comic is bad because it lacks a story, then you are dumb.
Humor: Jeez, why all the hatin' on indie jokes and sex jokes? They're funny because they make me laugh. Indie Rock Pete is one of the funniest characters in webcomics, simply because It's so insanely funnily sad to see someone be such a loser and compensate for it by incorporating loserdom into his philosophy. Seeing him try to rationalise his life is hilarious, as it often just makes him seem more embarrasing. The other characters are pretty well-defined and funny as well, but Pete is just the best. Also, lines like "Jesus helps me trick people" and "The icy hand of death cannot stop a true pimp" are some of the funniest lines in webcomicdom, next to "Beefy Lava Shower."
Apparently, you guys don't know how to review comics. You feel like if it doesn't fit your view of an ideal comic, it must suck. Ever hear of considering your audience? Not everyone has the same values as you. What I mean is that you shouldn't consider a comic's worth just because you did or didn't like it. You should also consider whether John Q. Public will like it as well. That's why instead of giving a 10-point rating, which comes off as pretty meaningless to me, I say who I'd recomment the comic to. It's much more useful, saying that even if I don't like a comic, I can tell who would enjoy it. (And the reason I don't recommend Gene Catlow to anyone is because the people who like that kind of stuff are often strange and scary. I stay away from them.) Just for fun, I did a random sampling at some other web forums, and it turns out that most people enjoy Buttlord GT. Another note of interest. While waiting for Van Helsing to start in the theater (awful movie, by the way), a girl I didn't know was talking about how much she like Diesel Sweeties and has been following it for four years. Further investigation revealed that both BLGT and DS have LOTS of fans, ranking up there with the fandom of Sluggy Freelance. Instead of saying the internet is stupid, I have a feeling the problem is more on YOUR end. I'm incredibly serious when I say you should relax, watch some Wildboyz and realize that it's okay to laugh at other people's misfortune, viscious insults and fart jokes.
Another thing you should learn is that WEB COMICS ARE NOT HIGH ART! I do not expect them to say something incredibly deep or meaningful and I do not want them to either. I do not want to have to think; I want to be entertained! Is there something so wrong with that? Does everything have to have a plot or even logical progression? Can I not enjoy crude, quick random humor? The answer is that I can enjoy all of these things, and you should get off your high horse as well.
And finally, what the hell makes you laugh? You don't like BLGT or DS. What IS funny to you? Seriously, I'd like to know. PM me and tell me. I don't want specific examples, but rather the general idea of what makes you laugh, because I sure can't figure it out.
Open message to Furilius Pitch.
The next comic I'd like to review after RPG World is White Ninja Comics. The art is grade-school level, there is no plot whatsoever and the humor is completely random. It has made me laugh incredibly hard, though. What will be much more of a hoot is seeing how the club reacts to it. I hardly can't wait.
I like Diesel Sweeties, but I'm not reading it right now. I don't want the comic spoiled by the fact that I find it hard to laugh. I'd recommend it to anyone with a sense of humor.
If you disagree with me or feel like you'd want to discuss this further with me, take it to PM. I'm perplexed, and I want to know exactly what is going on up there.
Addendum: After some introspection and reading Kajamir's post, I realize that he is right. I'm sorry for being in such a pissy mood this week and letting it taint, nay, smother my review. This won't happen again. It's just something I felt I had to get off my chest at the time. Now I don't want an argument to start on this thread, so if you have any beef with what I said, take it to the PM.